I was looking back this week and realized that a lot of things I thought were impossible for me to get thru are easy now! Even simple things like brushing his teeth. When he would spit the sound would remind me of the sound at the end of someone vomiting and make me so nauseous. Oh my goodness! I would try every time not to vomit, too! LOL! Now I have to hold his head up to brush his teeth but the sounds don't bother me at all. My arm gets tired after holding his head up but it doesn't bother me. So it is easier. Next is giving him his shots. I was so worried I was going to hurt him but have found that even though it burns him it is ok, because it wasn't anything I did. Lovenox burns. It does when anyone does it. A couple of tricks for it not to as much is let the alcohol dry before you start the shot. And another is don't wipe afterwards once again it can make it burn more. If Dan laughs he can pop that needle right out of his skin and we have to start again. So go fast!! Next, is working the feeding tube. It scared me so much!!! Even after the nurse said to not fear it. But I couldn't help it. It was scary! Now I work that tube like I always have. I have also found that I can get the extra air out and his doesn't let near so much wind so he doesn't toot every time we move him. They smelled so bad!! It was awful. Now he very seldom lets air. A nice thing in my eyes and to my nose! :) Then we have bodily fluids. Do I like them - no way!!! But now I can work with them. I wipe his behind without gagging, he pees on me regular (without meaning to), I have to wipe his nose and get snot on me pretty regular. It has become a standing joke that every day I get some kind of bodily fluid on me every day, it's true but I can laugh about it now. I no longer gag every time, or feel like I am sick inside or feel like I just can't do I one more time! As he is sick more I become better and better at taking care of Dan.
We got a ramp this weekend. One of the men from church who helped Dan last week volunteered to make him a ramp on Saturday. He showed up yesterday morning with some people from another ward at church and they went to work. They worked until early afternoon when the second shift kicked in and went to work. They stopped at 8 with only a half of the ramp not painted but everything else was done. We woke up this morning and it was finished. They had showed up some time after 1030 last night and finished painting it. Super sweet!!
Last but not least our morning CNA is really getting in there. She is doing Dan's showers, shaving, and exercising his hands (which are a little more flexible now). Our afternoon one shaves him and rubs his feet and keeps the circulation up and moving. It is easier now? sure it is. But that is not saying it isn't super hard still. The more help I get it is because he has gotten worse to earn. I would rather have Dan well and no help at all. That would be perfect. Next though is having help. That is wonderful and gives me more time to be his wife. Awesome!
I almost forgot to mention. My brother who has been living with us has been gone for a week and I made it thru. I didn't think I could but with the help of my morning CNA, some sweet brethren from church we made it. I am glad to know I can but sure hope when he gets back tomorrow that he doesn't go again for a little while. But now we know that he can heave a morning job and all will be well.