Monday, December 14, 2015
He wants to go home
We had a tough week here. It has been a few weeks since we had anything bad happen so I thought we were mostly stable and wasn't as worried as I could have been. Soooo what happens? It all comes raining down on us. His feeding tube got infected and then the next night- he had blood coming out of his penis. A lot of blood! So here came the nurse again. The next night he started aspirating and gagged for 15-20 minutes. It was terrible!!! Tracy, our LPN said we were testing her to see if she always wore her uniform even to sleep in. Now every day some of his skin gives and he gets another sore. He only has 2 so far but is having problems with those two. So a whole week has gone by and we had problems every day!! Yesterday we were talking and he wants his DNR put back in place. He said "I am ready to go home" Since we were sitting in our living room I can only assume he means back to live with Heavenly Father. He tells me he is tired and wants rest. He doesn't say "to rest" he just says rest. I know this has been a long battle for him (and for us all) and I think that he is ready as he says. He has told me he has no reason to fear and I know this is true because he is a good Christian man who loves the Lord. I asked him to try to stay at least thru Christmas so that the kids can have one more Christmas with their daddy. But I don't know if he has the energy to try anymore. It is so hard for him to even get a word out and he has a lot of pain now. He hurt from 2 am until 630 when he finally gave in and let me give him some pain drops. He usually doesn't want to take them but gave in this morning so I can only assume it was pretty bad. We will be praying for God's will to be done. But I sure don't like to see him suffer and I know the kids and Jeff don't either. So we pray he won't suffer and that he can find some happiness in every day.